This week I met with a friend who is going through a difficult breakup.  To me it seemed that much of his present motivation centers around doing things to try to prove something to a person who is trying to remove themselves from his life.

We have all felt like this at one time

We talked honestly about relationships and control.

Control is an illusion.  You do not control other people.  None of us do.  You are not Anthony Robins who in the movie Shallow Hal manipulates and brain washes people into doing what he wants.

In fact even Anthony Robins is not Anthony Robins.  His real life wife left him a few years ago.  He could not even control her into staying.  If he can’t get her to stay with his hundreds of millions, private island, 6 foot 6 frame, and banana hands what chance do us average mortals have.

We have to focus on what we can control.  You can’t control if a person loves you.  If they are faithful to you, that they light up or will eventually grow tired of you.

You can control, you: your attitude, your drive, and your love for others.  That is about it.

For everything else, control is an illusion.

Some times it is a beautiful, very life-like illusion but an illusion, nonetheless.

You have no choice.  Ignore and release what you can’t control and focus only on what you have some input over, you.

It’s about you, it’s always been about you.

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